It's hard.

I was thinking about something last night as I was rolling over for the zillionth time trying to find a comfortable position to fall asleep in (I use the term "comfortable" here loosely). For those of you who don't know, I'm 30 weeks pregnant (for those of you who have never been pregnant and this whole "weeks" thing is confusing, that's about 7 months pregnant). This is my 3rd kiddo, and he seems to demand more space than his sisters did (although I might be wrong; there are certain things you forget about being pregnant--it's so you'll have more kids later).
As I lay there, my brain spinning, a little voice said, "You really shouldn't complain. There are people that have it harder than you." Instantly I thought of friends who struggle to get pregnant, struggle to stay pregnant, or have pregnancies infinitely harder than mine (I'm looking at you HG, you miserable blighter). And then a kinder voice said, "Yes, there are people who have it hard, but it's all hard. Infertility is hard. Pregnancy is hard. Motherhood is hard. Life is hard. That's the point."
It's not a contest of who has it worse off. Thinking of these sweet friends and their struggles did help pull me out of my pity-party, and be grateful for what I have, but guess what? My groin, my back, my sides still ached and were just as sore as they had been before. "Someone has it worse than you" doesn't relieve the stress, worry, or pain that we are experiencing. All it does is add guilt to the mix. It is important to recognize our blessings, to be grateful for all we are given. It's also important to allow ourselves to feel. It's okay to be upset that sleep is so elusive. It's okay to cry. It's all okay, because guess what--life is hard. Life is pain, but life is also really beautiful.
Like I said, this is my 3rd pregnancy, and every time around, I am reminded of the incredible life lessons I learn while pregnant; for me, the biggest two are 1) that things hurt, and then they hurt worse, and then you're so incredibly blessed that you know you would do it all again. 2) Everything changes. Nothing stays the same. You don't stay pregnant. Your newborn will not stay a newborn. Your 3-year-old will not stay a 3-year-old. And even though you will always be a mother, how you mom, and who you mom won't stay the same. My mom isn't nearly as involved in my everyday life now as she was when I was 6 months old, or 6 years old, or even 16 years old. She "moms" differently now than she did then; and that's okay. It's all hard. It's all a blessing. Take a deep breath to survive the hard. Soak up the blessings. Give yourself a break. You're doing great.