BYUH Security Nazis

it’s monday night. monday night means movie night for Jake and i. tonight, due to dinner taking kind of long to cook, we started the movie kind of late and didn’t make it back to campus until a little after one. Curfew is 12.

Anyway, so jake and i are sitting in front of the hales…under a bright light….and a camera…where the WHOLE WORLD could see us if they wanted to, all they had to do was look. we’re sitting there talking and all of the sudden one of the red security trucks starts driving by and they stop right in front of the door. i see them. i ignore them. we keep talking, we were in the middle of a conversation and had they left, we’d have finished in the next half hour. but noooooo (i hope you can hear my sassy melodramatic no), they decide to take matters into their own hands, they shine their scary little light beam on us (because flashlights are…intimidating? hmmm….must have missed that memo). we continue to talk and finally i get irratated with them enough that i tell Jake that we should probably just go because it’s been a whole 4 minutes since we sat down there and heaven only knows what can happen in the well lit/well watched areas of campus. (please). so we kiss goodnight and i go up to my room grumbling about these nazis.

i’m 20 years old. i do not need a babysitter folks, haven’t needed one for years, “I’m a big girl, i tie my own sandals and everything.”

i’m talking with my roommate and we’re both complaining about how lame a lot of our “rules” are. Jake calls and he has a fantastic encounter to tell me. (i asked him if the security guy approached him). Jake said (he was pretty upset that he had to leave- we were in kind of an important conversation and we really needed to finish it) he walked up to the security guy and said,

“It’s a good thing you came along, because we were just about ready to have sex there under that light.”

Apparently the man didn’t think that was funny cause he said, “If you wanna be funny, well that’s fine. i can take your name into Honor Code (for sitting under a light and talking with his Fiance? good luck with that one buddy) and you can be suspended.”

“So, how does it feel to get paid for being our babysitter?” Jake’s final words to the man.

don’t worry, no one got dragged off in handcuffs. jake’s fine, i’m fine. but i think it goes to show that our security should be more concerned about people that want to get on campus and actually harm us than couples sitting in well lit, preapproved places. granted it was 1 in the morning, but hello, we’re adults. how on earth does anyone expect us to become independent if every time we turn around they’re staring at us with their flashlights yelling (in nasally voices) “Are you keeping Honor Code?” “Are you in Standards?”

Sometimes this school is such a joke.